WWW.KOSHERDELIGHT.COM - GLOBAL JEWISH DIRECTORY WITH NEWS AND INFORMATION, TRAVEL, EDUCATION, PARENTING, HOLIDAYS AND MORE   כושר דילייט - מגאזין יהודי באינטרנט הכולל חדשות ומידע יהודי גלובלי. המגאזין כולל: בתי חב"ד, בתי ספר יהודיים, אוכל כשר ומסעדות כשרות, מקוואות, חינוך ועוד

   

Kosher Restaurants

Kosher Hotels

Synagogues

Kosher recipes

Mikvah

Jewish Holidays

KOSHER RESTAURANTS

KOSHER HOTELS

SYNAGOGUES

KOSHER RECIPES

MIKVAOT

JEWISH HOLIDAYS

                          ב"ה   
KOSHER DELIGHT - YOUR JEWISH ONLINE MAGAZINE!

Bullet Home
Bullet
SITE INDEX
BulletJEWISHKD.COM
Bullet
DONATE 

KOSHER
BulletKosher restaurants
   Around the World!
BulletKosher Hotels
Bullet
Kosher Recipes 

BulletVegetarian Restaurants
Bullet
Updates from the
   Chief Rabbinate of
   Israel

BulletKosher Alcohol Updates
Bullet
Kashrut Authorities
BulletKosher Products Lists

Bullet
Kashrut Comments

BET DIN OUTSIDE ISRAEL
BulletInternational Directory of Rabbinical Courts

SHABBAT
BulletCandle Lighting Times
   for Shabbat & Holidays


NEWS
Bullet
News & Media


JEWISH STUFF...
BulletJewish Simcha
BulletJudaism, Spiritualism,
   Opinions and more

Bullet
Jewish Communities
   Around the World

Bullet
Parashat
   HaShavuah
   
Bullet
Jewish Holidays
Bullet
Synagogues
Bullet
Mikvaot
Bullet
Chabad Houses
Bullet
Aish HaTorah
Bullet
Young Israel  
Bullet
NCSY
Bullet
B'nai Akiva
Bullet
Hillel
BulletThe Holocaust


PARENTING
BulletParenting
BulletJewish Camps
BulletKids
Bullet
Babies


HEALTH
Bullet
Jewish Hospitals
Bullet
Your Health
Bullet
Do not Abuse
    Drugs and Alcohol


FRIENDS ON 4
BulletOur Pets
BulletThe Dog Trainer: Q & A
BulletThe Veterinarian Corner
Bullet הטסת כלבים
Bullet כלבים: עכשיו הדיאטה
Bulletהיצלנו את לוקה


BulletInsurance New!
BulletQuestions & Answers
Bullet
Links


BulletCONTACT US!  


 
 
 

KD MAGAZINE! 
Posted: Dec 12, 07 ב"ה     ג' בטבת, תשס"ח                                          

 
 
 
   
 

Seeking Attention

Rabbi Shea Hecht
About the Author

 

The desire for attention is a basic human need. Ask 19-year-old gunman, Robert A. Hawkins, in the Omaha, Nebraska shooting. He killed eight people so that "now I'll be famous." He knew he'll be dead yet he was desperate for attention; he got it in the worst way possible, by taking others with him. His story just highlighted the fact that our children need attention. 

 

There are three primary ways for our children to get our attention: Negatively, positively and directly.  

 

Children that do negative things will get attention. Babies cry for attention and to make their needs known. Crying is an annoying sound, but that's the only way babies know how to communicate their needs. Some of us never grow out of that way of dealing with their needs.

 

A small child can throw a tantrum or make a mess and they'll get their attention - albeit negatively. On a teenage level - well it almost is beyond the scope of the human imagination what teens dream up or get involved in to get attention negatively. There are many other ways that children get negative attention such as complaining, criticizing and taunting. 

 

Though your child will sometimes get attention this way, some parents won't be manipulated into responding because they expect better and the child won't get the attention they crave.

 

Another way to get attention is positively  -  by trying  by trying to please people. People pleasers will go out of their way to do whatever they think will satisfy others and earn them attention. Some examples could be cleaning up a mess to please their mother, doing well on an exam to please their parents or falsely complimenting others because they think it will get them some more attention.

 

Though this might seem like a good way to get attention because it is asking in a positive way, it doesn't always guarantee the results we want because the action can sometimes be ignored. The child who comes home with a perfect score on his test to be signed might be disappointed that his mother is distracted with the other children and doesn't comment on the grade. The boy that cleans the shed to please his father might be let down when his father doesn't notice and remark about the job.

 

The last way to get attention is the most powerful: By directly asking for it. A child who comes home and says, "I had a rough day, I need some time to talk, I need a hug" is asking for attention in the healthiest way possible of all. That child is also more likely to get the time and the attention they want than one who comes home and throws a tantrum. Asking for the attention one needs is not a guarantee - there's always a chance one will be told, "I know darling, but it has to wait" - nonetheless that gives the greatest chance of getting what we're asking for.

 

The big drawback to asking for attention directly is that if the overture is rejected it can be extremely painful.

 

A smart parent will ignore the negative attention seeking, cash in on the positive attention seeking, but most of all train our children to recognize their need for attention and ask for it directly. Of course, a direct request has to be responded to graciously and abundantly.

 

These three means of getting attention and all their ramifications apply to every relationship - particularly marriage - where each spouse is looking to receive attention from their "better half."

 

It's sad that Robert Hawkins felt he had to take other human lives to get the attention he deserved. Most people don't feel that they need to go to such extremes. Had Robert learned to ask for attention in a more healthy way his nine victims would be living today.

 

Read more articles by Rabbi Hecht 

Rabbi Hecht's Website:  www.sheahecht.com  

 

 
KOSHER DELIGHT MAGAZINE

Zikit Translation Services

ZIKIT TRANSLATION SERVICES , שירותי תירגום, שרותי תירגום, שירות תרגומים, שירות תירגומים, שרות תרגום, תירגום, תרגום, תירגום מסמכים, תירגום תעודות, תרגום טכני, תירגום טכני, תרגום, תרגומים מעברית לאנגלית, תרגומים מאנגלית לעברית, תרגום עברי אנגלית אנגלי עברי -  זיקית שירותי תרגום

www.zikit.org


THE JEWISH HOLOCAUST
THE HOLOCAUST - THE SHOAH

Advertise with Us!

KD Kosher Recipe Collection
Send us your 
Kosher Recipe!