KOSHER DELIGHT - YOUR JEWISH ONLINE MAGAZINE!
Posted: Sep 22, 2006 - יום
באלול, תשס"ו -
ערב רה"ש תשס"ז
Paxman’s wedding fell apart six weeks’ before it was supposed
to take place.
Awful things happen to many of us on
different levels every single day. We all hope that when the time comes we can
react the right way - the way we fantasize that we would - seeing the good in
everything and turning a negative experience into something positive.
And when a stranger walked into Kyle
Paxman’s office with the news that her fiancé called her wedding off, she
reacted just the way we all hope we would. She turned the negative into
something very positive.
“The dress had arrived, the flowers were
done, the menus were chosen,” said Ms. Paxman, manager of two food and
beverage outlets at La Costa Resort and Spa in Carlsbad, California. “One
hundred and eighty guests had tickets from all over the country and the Virgin
Islands to come and make a weekend of my wedding.”
But rather than cancel the reception,
planned for this Saturday in Vermont, Ms. Paxman, 29, turned it into a charity
benefit. “How do you turn something so awful around?” she asked. “We
needed to turn this into something positive and start the healing process.”
Right after getting the bad news, her
mother, Patricia Carbee, began canceling reservations and events, but she
learned that the family was still on the hook for the reception costs, a block
of rooms in a hotel and other expenses.
“We had already spent the money, and I
started trying to think of other ways we might be able to put the things
we’d bought to use,” Mrs. Carbee said.
Ms. Paxman and her parents have invited
125 women, to enjoy the cocktails and four-course dinner and, in return, she
hopes they will write checks to two charities she has chosen.
“If you think about it, she’s not only
empowering herself, she’s reaching out and helping to empower other
women,” said Bibiana Betancourt, a fund-raising executive. She said Ms.
Paxman’s plans were the most unusual she had encountered in her seven years
raising money. Kyle Paxman said she did not know whether her former fiancé,
whom she declined to name, knew what she was doing.
“It’s going to be hard, of course,”
she said of appearing before her guests. “But the end of my story now
isn’t so awful.”
I learned two incredible lessons from the
“Jilted Bride.” One is that one CAN make lemons out of lemonade. The
charities that will benefit from the cancelled wedding will be eternally
grateful that Kyle Paxman decided to get up, brush herself off and move on -
using this horrible experience to create something good.
And the second, in my opinion the even
more valuable lesson, is that a person can get through something traumatic
like a broken engagement and still remain strong and hold onto their class.
Kyle Paxman had every reason to join the ranks of other people who air their
dirty laundry all over town and yet - Kyle remained ever the lady - and
refused to name the groom. Now that’s a strength!
more articles by Rabbi Hecht
Rabbi Hecht's Website: www.sheahecht.com
KOSHER DELIGHT - YOUR JEWISH ONLINE MAGAZINE! כושר דילייט - מגזין
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