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Although establishing
the possibility of a permanent relationship in a short period of
time may seem unlikely, the groundwork for many successful
relationships has been established after the couple met on a
three-minute-round-table. This system allows prospective couples
to meet for three minutes, then move around the table to meet
someone else. According to a study done by Robert Kurzban,
assistant psychology professor at the University of
Pennsylvania, the average person can assess a potential mate
within those first three minutes. Those who found mates based
their decision on the excitement they felt from mutual
attraction. All subsequent dating merely validates the initial
decision. Marriage obligates us to keep that initial spark of
attraction alive.
The
three-minute-round-table study shows us that a short initial
meeting can be a good indicator of potential in a relationship.
However, there is something more that we must do to give our
relationships a greater chance to succeed - be sure that the two
mates have common goals. Marriage is difficult enough because of
our male-female differences. We must have a common sense
of purpose. In general, a sense of purpose eases a burden;
working toward a goal always makes work much easier. How
much more so when two people have a common sense of purpose in
building a home and raising children. It makes dealing with the
hurdles, difficulties and intricacies of marriage much more
manageable.
In our
society, someone purchasing a car researches its track record so
that they know it will serve them well; those who buy a horse
inquire about a proper pedigree so it can win races. Yet many
marry their spouse - the future parent of their children -
without proper inquiry or research. An intelligent person should
research their prospective lifetime partner and the family that
they want to marry into, inquiring about common future goals.
Once
a home is established, what can be done to keep the initial
three-minute excitement alive? One seemingly small thing can
help - remembering that the focus in a relationship is the
spouse.
A few real life stories can illustrate that point.
A man
went to work and found little love notes in many different
places. On the steering wheel of the car there was a note that
said I love you, in his pants pocket a note that said I love
you, a note in his suit jacket that said I love you . . .
A wife
came home from work and found a rose by the front door, dinner
prepared on the table with a rose in the center, and a rose in
the bedroom . . .
A man
went away on business trip for week, he bought his wife a few
cards, and left them in little hiding places all over the
house, in the drawer of her dresser, in the linen closet, in her
pocket book . . .
A wife
went away on a business for a week, her husband gave her one
card to open each day that she was gone . . .
A man
walked into the bedroom, and found candles lit setting the mood
in the room . . .
A woman
I know occasionally calls her husband's secretary and asks her
to set up a lunch appointment for him without saying whom it is
with, when he comes to the designated restaurant his wife is
waiting for him . . .
A plant
that is fed and watered properly will flourish. A marriage, like
a plant, also needs to be nourished and receive constant care to
grow and develop properly.
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