If I was
asked to describe the perfect vacation, it would be
one spent with family. All the other attractions a vacation
can offer pale in comparison to uninterrupted time with my
friends of ours believe the perfect vacation is one
spent pampered in a luxurious hotel with breathtaking scenery
and a heated pool.
‘perfect vacation’ what does your imagination conjure? A
luxurious hotel? Delicious food? Entertaining people?
Interesting sites? The right weather? Beautiful scenery? The
right entertainment? Some of the above? All of the above? An
eclectic mixture of all the things mentioned?
is much like that
vacation people dream they will take one day, and just like
people seek different components to create that perfect
vacation, people look for different things in their marriage.
people marry? What does marriage have to offer? How
many of the things that marriage has to offer do we recognize
and appreciate - especially if they are not part of our dream?
intimacy and companionship are three of the big draws to a
permanent relationship. The warmth of knowing that someone
cares and will be there to listen is a common pull to settle
down and marry.
marry because they find that their relationship
challenges them to better themselves. Living alone or in a
relationship without commitment doesn’t offer the same
challenge to better yourself. An unmarried person has to
worry only about themselves. Marriage and children help a
person jump over that hump and care about others.
difficult to be
selfish when you live with others who demand that you give of
yourself; living with a pet demands responsibility, but it
certainly doesn’t encourage anyone to be a “mensch.”
(or whatever your loving pet is called) may mean
the world to you, but an animal places no challenges on its
owner to improve. Animals accept their owner with
unconditional love. Though each person dreams to be accepted
and loved unconditionally, the truth is that we all need to
improve our character and marriage challenges us to do just
is the holy and legitimate way to bring children
into this world. Children are our guarantee that our
generations will continue, and they give us grandchildren
which are a great source of nachas.
there are the
financial and practical benefits of marriage: a home, food,
and even a better-looking tax return.
though maybe not consciously, we marry because of
the spiritual and esoteric.
G-d told us to. Each person is only ½ of a whole. Without the
other half, a person never feels whole. Our spouse not only
challenges us to be a better human being, but also complements
us. A man and a woman create a positive energy.
leads to fulfillment in all areas of our lives: the
physical and the spiritual, the financial and the practical,
the esoteric and the down-to-earth day to day needs.
marriage is the possibility of getting that dream
vacation with all its components. Just as it takes a concerted
effort to put the dream vacation together, it takes work to
bring our marriages to their full potential. Marriage
creates obligations on a multitude of levels. However,
we can reap the benefits on a multitude of levels.
understood the benefits of marriage, what it can
accomplish for us and how it can help us become a better and
more wholesome human being the question of ‘why
marry’ wouldn’t exist.
BY RABBI SHEA HECHT